I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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