I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
