you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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