Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
