i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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