okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
