Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
