i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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