i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
