put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
