So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
foreskin is a definite game changer
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
