Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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