They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
