You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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