oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
