i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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