all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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