As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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