i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
