Swine flu. Run for my life!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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