I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
