guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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