Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
