Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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