Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Will exercising make me less horny?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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