Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
