Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
