He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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