it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
