There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
smell my finger.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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