So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
