Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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