I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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