So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
