Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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