Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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