We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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