glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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