everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
