She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
