I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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