my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
