But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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