I feel like abortions should bother me more
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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