hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize