Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
