how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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