I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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