did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
