well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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