Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
