And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize