Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
