My first STD was from a foam party
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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