Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
