OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize