I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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