This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
